Discarded Love
by xoChantelly
Summary: Set during Crush. What if Buffy was having thoughts about actually being with Spike? Will Spike's 'tie Buffy up and tell her I love her' idea make her change her mind? Will Spike really kill Drusilla to prove his love?
1. Chapter 1

Author's Notes:

Thank you xaphania for beta'ing and the inspiration! The link to her poll is here: .

* * *

* * *

"Spike? Are you here?" Buffy asked, as she walked into his crypt.

Ever since Dawn had told Buffy that Spike had a crush on her, Buffy hadn't been able to get the peroxide blonde vampire out of her mind. She had initially come here to tell him that there was no way that she would ever be with him and that he should get over his little fixation with her. However, the more she thought about him, the more she sort of... wanted him.

He was a vampire, yes, but hey, he was a damn sexy vampire! He had those muscles that she always felt him flex when they fought, those lips she could hardly keep her eyes off of when he spoke, and those cheekbones... He was chiseled to perfection and she wanted a piece.

Even if it was wrong.

"Spike?" she called out again, hoping for an answer. When there was nothing but silence, she almost gave up, but spotted a trap door into the basement.

She walked over to it, pushing it open and crouching down to peek inside, wondering what Spike was keeping down there. Instead of trying to see through the small hole in the floor, she jumped down, landing on her feet with cat-like grace at the bottom.

It was dark, aside from the single lit torch on the wall, illuminating a small area of the basement. She wrapped her hand around it and pulled it from the wall, using it to light her way. Buffy scanned the room, her eyes falling on a bed, a hole in the wall that was probably an entrance to the sewer tunnels, something covered with a sheet and...

_'What the heck is that?'_ she thought, looking at the large, sheet-covered object in confusion mixed with curiosity. "Well, Spike isn't here, might as well take a look..." she said into the empty room, her voice slightly echoing off the walls.

She quickly pulled the sheet off, uncovering a shrine with a gush of air. A shrine. Of herself. _'Okay... creepy, much?'_ she thought, as she touched a stake that was placed on the desk. Then there were pictures, some were actual photos taken by a camera and others were hand-drawn. Buffy found it all incredibly weird and stalkerish.

She was about to cover the shrine up when a piece of paper caught her eye, the words on it written in beautiful calligraphy. Her curiosity was piqued again. She didn't know when Spike would be back, but she figured she had enough time to read it.

She picked it up, her eyes glancing over the pretty words. She took a deep breath and read the words aloud.

_"Bleak midwinter,  
And snow lies all around.  
My heart is cold and empty,  
And I long to walk on the hot sand,  
With the sun burning my body,  
And my love close at hand._

Will you ever return?  
Or will I always live in bleak midwinter?"

Buffy's eyes filled with tears, as she read the heartfelt words.

_"Send me word of where you are,  
Have you found a new love?  
Have you moved on to someone new?  
I am still in a frozen state,  
Stuck rigid where you left me,  
Unable to move on._

One kiss would thaw my bones,  
One moment of bliss would unfreeze my toes.  
I would follow you to the ends of the earth,  
But my feet are frozen to the ground,  
And all around there is no sound,  
In this frozen wilderness.

I will live forever,  
Suspended in time,  
A monument to discarded love."

Buffy read it once more, silent tears sliding down her cheeks as she took in the poem. She couldn't believe that his words could affect her this much. She'd read some of the poems Angel had written about her, but none of them had moved her to tears so quickly like Spike's had. It was beautiful, it was sad, and it was perfect.

Even if it was part of the creepy shrine.

She loved it.

Buffy folded it up, tucking the paper into her pocket before she climbed the ladder to the upper floor, planning on finding Spike no matter what. She didn't know what she was going to say to him when she found him, but she knew it involved kissing. Lots of kissing.

As she got to the top, she was about to shut the trap door when she heard a noise behind her. She spun around, her heart leaping in her chest when she saw Spike. With blood on his mouth... "Blood?" she whispered, reaching her hand out to touch his mouth, but quickly pulling it back when she saw the bemused look on his face.

"See anything interesting?" he asked, his voice hard and unfeeling. She _so_ didn't like it.

"Spike? I, uh... What..." She started to back up as Spike advanced on her, nervous about the current situation. Was he mad that she was snooping? Had he gotten the chip out? "...what happened?"

Buffy saw a dark figure move out of the corner of her eye and turned to see what it was. "Me," Drusilla said, then zapped her with a cattle prod, not giving Buffy enough time to react to her presence.

Buffy fell to the ground, wincing and clutching at her twitching skin where the jolt of electricity hit her. She looked up at Spike, confusion swirling in her hazel eyes. "You remember my ex, don't you, Slayer?" he asked, watching as Buffy sat up against the casket behind her. He put an arm around Drusilla, smiling with pride. "Come back, she did. Couldn't live without me."

Drusilla giggled, her laugh like nails on a chalkboard to Buffy. "My boy's been feeding again. But I know what he really wants to eat!"

Before Buffy could do anything, Drusilla leaned over and tasered Buffy again, sending her world into darkness.

When Buffy came to, she tried to move her arms and found them chained to the wall. What the hell was going on?

"Ah, there she is," Spike said, then went to stand directly in front of her. He chuckled as she tugged on her bonds. "Beginning to think you'd sleep the night away."

Buffy couldn't help the feeling of despair that flooded her, knowing that Spike had turned on her. She stared at him, willing him to see that she was different now, that she wanted to be with him. She knew she didn't love him, but one day, she could. It was too late. Drusilla waltzes back into his life and Buffy is all but a second thought. She should have known he'd turn on her. "So, Dru comes back and you become her lapdog again?" Buffy asked, shielding her emotions the best she could.

"Au contraire, luv," he stepped to the side, revealing an equally bound Drusilla to Buffy. "I'm no bloody lapdog."

"Not nice to change the game in mid-play, Spike. You've taken my chair and the music hasn't stopped." Drusilla whined, her arms fidgeting behind her.

Spike just looked at Drusilla, shrugging his shoulders. "Sorry, pet. My house, my rules."

"I think I shall be very cross with you when I'm free again."

Buffy pulled on her restraints again, knowing that they still wouldn't budge. "What's going on?"

"Simple. I'm gonna prove something." Spike said, moving closer to her and looking right into her eyes. "I love you."

Buffy closed her eyes and turned away, thinking that he was only playing with her head now. There was no way he could love her and chain her to the wall, giving him the perfect opportunity to kill his third slayer. "Don't." she whispered, almost childlike.

"No, look at me!" Spike shouted, grabbing her chin and turning her face towards him. "I. Love. You." When Buffy did nothing to get away from him, his hopes went sky high and he continued. "You're all I bloody think about. Dream about. You're in my gut... my throat... I'm drowning in you, Summers, I'm drowning in you. I..."

He was cut off by Drusilla's laughter and he turned toward her, scowling. "I can do without the laugh track, Dru."

"But it's so funny. I knew ... before you did. I knew you loved the Slayer. The pixies in my head whispered it to me..."

Spike rolled his eyes and turned back to Buffy, ignoring Dru as she continued talking. "You can't tell me that there isn't anything there between you and me. I know you feel something."

Buffy frowned. "Maybe there is, Spike. But whatever you think you're feeling, it's not love. You wouldn't do this to me if you actually loved me."

"You still don't believe... Still don't think I mean it... You want proof, huh? How's this?" He stalked over to the Buffy Shrine, grabbed a stake off the table, then turned and put the stake against Dru's chest. "I'm gonna kill Drusilla for you."

Dru laughed again, but Buffy and Spike ignored her. Buffy shrugged, trying to keep herself detached. "Go ahead, less work for me."

"Don't mock this!" Spike shouted, pointing at Buffy. He scoffed at Buffy's retort and turned to gaze at Drusilla. "Do you have the slightest idea what she means to me? It's the face of my salvation! She delivered me from mediocrity. For over a century we ... cut a swath through continents. A hundred years, she never stopped surprising me. Never stopped taking me to new depths. I was a lucky bloke. Just to touch such a black beauty."

Buffy watched as he stroked Drusilla's face, fighting off the tears that threatened to spill. She was losing. "If you love her so much, then be with her. I don't care, Spike."

Suddenly, Spike lifted the stake and pressed it firmly against Drusilla's chest. Drusilla gasped and winced . "I don't want to be with her. I want to be with... You're crying?" Spike asked, his attention immediately drawn to Buffy. He dropped his hand that held the stake, and walked towards Buffy. "Why?"

"It's nothing," Buffy whispered, turning her head away from him. "Just... Kill me already."

Spike scoffed. "I'm not going to kill you, Buffy! I just, I just want you to understand that..."

"That what?" Buffy hollered, her anger overpowering her sadness. "That you love me? God, Spike. Look at what you're doing! Do you honestly think that _this_ is a good way to show your affection?" Spike looked at her, then lowered his head in shame. "Do you know why I was in your crypt when you found me? I was looking for you. I was looking for you to tell you that yeah, I might feel something for you too, but then you do this? Maybe I made the wrong decision. I could never trust you enough to love you."

Spike growled and threw the stake at the wall behind Buffy. "So, I fucked up. Maybe I didn't think this through as well as I thought I did. Bloody hell, Buffy! You aren't exactly the easiest person to talk to! What was I supposed to do, short of doing this? Get down on my knees and beg for your love? You would have kicked my bloody teeth in!"

"No I wouldn't... Okay, maybe I would've. But maybe if you..." Buffy tried to wipe the tears off her face, but remembered that her hands were bound. "Could you untie me please? So we can talk normally?"

"I don't think you should do that, my Spike," Drusilla said from behind Spike. "That would ruin my tea party."

Buffy stood there, unable to move as Drusilla jumped on Spike's back, digging her claw-like nails into his chest. Drusilla must have escaped while Buffy and Spike were talking, using their lack of attention to shield her actions. Spike grunted as he was flipped over, landing on his back with Drusilla straddling his chest. "You've been a bad dog," she chided, waving her finger in front of his face. "I'll have to put you to sleep!"

She leaned over and grabbed the discarded cattle prod, zapping Spike in the neck and effectively knocking him out.

Buffy tried to yank on her chains for the umpteenth time that night. She was in danger and there was nothing she could do about it. "Stupid Spike." She groaned as Drusilla advanced on her.

"Now, Miss Edith," she said to the creepy doll that had suddenly appeared, as if from nowhere,* in her arms. "What should I do to the pretty little Slayer that stole my Dark Prince?"

Buffy whimpered, her back against the wall behind her. She was so going to die. "You should uh... do nothing!" Buffy laughed nervously. "Maybe Spike will uh... want you again if you don't kill me... and uh..."

"Shh! Naughty!" Drusilla shrieked, clawing Buffy across her cheek. "He will do no such thing! You've filled him with light and he doesn't want to play with his princess any more. You took my daddy from me and now you've stolen my dear, sweet boy." She paused to look at the fixed, porcelain smile on the doll's face. "Shall we kill her, dearie?"

Drusilla dropped the doll, stepping over it and wrapping her hands around Buffy's neck in a choking grip. "You'll not steal my things again!"

Buffy kicked her feet out from under her, glad that Spike hadn't shackled those as well. "Get... off... me!" she groaned, her voice strangled and gurgly. She kicked again, catching Drusilla's knee.

Drusilla cried out and took a step back, realising that even with her hands bound, the Slayer was able to fight back. Taking the easier way out, Drusilla stood a few paces away, raising her hand and using two fingers to point at her eyes. "Look at me, dearie," When Buffy's eyes met Drusilla's, the vampiress began to sway. "Be, in my eyes... Be... in me..."

Buffy felt her body become immobile, all thoughts of retaliation on the vampiress gone as her body swayed with Drusilla._'This isn't good...'_

Drusilla stopped swaying and giggled as she clapped her hands, childishly happy that her thrall was working on someone as strong as Buffy. She walked over to her doll and picked it up, tucking it under her arm. "How should I kill the nasty slayer, Miss Edith? Snap, slice, bash or bite?"

"Stake."

Before Drusilla could turn around, a stake was protruding through her chest, directly through her heart.

**TBC**

* * *

End Notes:

Reviews? Next/last chapter coming tomorrow! **I Did not write that poem. I have no clue who wrote it either. I just searched 'Victorian gothic love poems' in google and it came up. I guess its anonymous. It belongs to the anonymous person that is not me =D**


	2. Chapter 2

Before Drusilla could even turn around, a stake was protruding through her chest, directly through her heart.

"My Spike?" she whimpered, before she turned to dust.

Spike stood there before his sire's ashes, dazed and slightly confused. He dropped the stake and stared at her dust, tears forming in his eyes. He'd done it so quickly, without hesitation. Like she meant nothing to him. It hurt, the void that she left behind, but when he saw Buffy shake her head out of the thrall, her beautiful hazel eyes scanning the room, he knew he'd be okay. "Buffy?" he said, stepping closer to the girl the held his heart. "Buffy, are you okay?"

"Spike," she groaned, still shaken up from the thrall. "Unchain me."

He did so, catching her as she fell into his arms, her body tired and drained. "S'ok, luv. I've got you."

He led her over to the bed, gently laying her down so she could relax. "Spike... you..." she whispered, her mind flitting between too many thoughts. "You killed her."

Spike smiled, pushing some hair away from her face before leaning down to kiss her forehead. "Only for you, Buffy. Only for you."

Buffy smiled, raising her hand to rest against his cheek before she lost consciousness, her mind taking a little break from the hecticness that was her life.

When Buffy woke up, she found herself laying on an impossibly comfortable bed, curled up against a sleeping Spike. His chest was moving, slightly, going up and down with each breath he took and she couldn't find him more confusing. He broke and bent every vampire rule that had been drilled into her skull since she became the Chosen One.

Where other vampires were hard and unfeeling, he found the time to care and even to love. Where other vampires relished being evil and destroying everything they touched, he gladly changed his ways and helped her fight evil. He was an enigma, and she wanted to figure him out. Every little thing about him.

She turned on her side to examine him in the soft glow of the candles that he must have lit while she was sleeping. He was angelic, even more so than Angel had been. He was in no way like his grandsire, that was for sure, and Buffy found that even more alluring. Why hadn't she seen how amazing Spike was before?

Oh right, she was too busy being blind. Black and white only, remember? There's good and then there's bad. Spike was a vampire, therefore he was bad. Boy, she couldn't have been more wrong. Even when Drusilla was there, he could have let Drusilla kill her and then scampered off to be with her. But no, he had killed Drusilla even though he didn't know if Buffy would ever return his feelings. Even though he didn't know whether Buffy would kill him the second she had the chance. Buffy had been incredibly wrong about him the whole time, and she sort of hated herself because of it. She had to make it better. She wanted him to be happy, and she wanted herself to be happy as well.

She rolled over until she was straddling his waist, running her arms up and down Spike's biceps. "Spike, wake up," she said. When he didn't, she leaned over until her lips were close to his ears. "If you don't wake up, I'll have to start without you..."

Still, nothing.

She shrugged and stood up, walking over to where she had been chained up earlier that night. She knew she couldn't use those chains because they wouldn't come off the wall, so she picked up the rope that Drusilla had been tied up with and walked back over to the sleeping vampire. She tied his hands to the bedpost and smiled at her handiwork. "Oh yeah, this will be fun." She giggled, then quickly undressed until she was in nothing but her bra and panties.

She took her place on top of him, wiggling her hips as she shouted, "Spike! Fire!"

He woke with a jump, pulling at his restraints as he tried to get off the bed. "Fire?! Where?! Slayer?"

Buffy giggled and put her hands on his shoulders. "Calm down, I was only kidding. I wanted you… _up_ for the main event."

He stared at her like she had grown a second head, then his eyes widened and he slumped against the bed. "I'm guessing this is the part where you kill me... Wait a second... are you naked?"

Buffy giggled again, then leaned down to kiss him. "That I am, Vampire. What are you going to do about it?"

Spike's eyes rolled up in his head and he groaned as he rolled his hardening erection into her core. "Well first off..." he pulled at his restraints. "Why am I tied up?"

"All is fair in love and war," she replied, then pushed her hands under his shirt, regretting not taking the damned material off before she tied him up. "I kinda want to see you naked."

"Well, that's great and all, and I'm really not complaining, but I kinda want my hands free if we do this."

Buffy grinned as she ground her centre against his denim-clad cock. "Too bad."

Without any more hesitation, she leaned forward and captured his lips in a passionate kiss, conveying every feeling she had through her lips. "Want you, Spike," she groaned when she pulled away for air.

"God, Buffy, please..."

She reached her hand between them and slowly unbuttoned and unzipped his pants, taking his erection into her hands and pumping him. "What lesson did you learn by chaining me up?" she asked, then licked from his jawline down his neck.

"That, uh... I shouldn't?" he replied, his hips rocking to the tempo of her hand. He groaned when she gave his dick a playful squeeze. "Unless I'm going to have my wicked way with you, in a non-killing way?"

She untied one of his hands and she licked his nipple with the flat of his tongue. "Right. And what did you learn about using stupid ideas to prove your love to me?" she inquired, then switched to his other nipple.

With one hand, Buffy was playing with the knot that held Spike's other hand, and with her other one, she was pushing his pants down. Not coming up with any good answers, Spike just said, "That I shouldn't?" then moaned as Buffy rubbed the head of his cock up her soaking slit. He guessed it was the right answer, because she untied his other hand.

"You learn fast, luv,." Sshe said, mocking his British accent with a horrible attempt.

Instead of coming up with a witty retort, Spike put his hands on her shoulder and flipped them over, pinning Buffy beneath him. He chuckled at her flustered state, then he became serious, pushing a strand of hair out of her face to gaze into her eyes. "Are you sure about this, Buffy? Once we do this, there is no going back. After this, you're mine."

She didn't answer, she didn't blink. All she did was take his hard cock in her hands, position it at her entrance and wrap her legs around his waist. Taking that as a go-ahead, he pushed inside her, sinking himself into her velvety depths and loving every second of it. "Bloody hell, Buffy," he groaned when he was balls deep. "So tight, so good..."

Buffy moaned in response and bucked her hips, seeking friction from him. She loved how he filled her so completely, stretched her so divinely. He fit her so well, he was her equal. "Spike!" she called out as he pulled out of her, then slammed all the way in.

He continued like that, his pace slow and hard, loving and promising, exquisite and beautiful. It was everything she had ever dreamed for in a lover, and she knew she would never want anyone else for as long as she lived.

"Buffy, so amazing... I love you, kitten," he whispered.

She said nothing in response, just mewled every time his cock entered her. She didn't love him yet, but she knew she wasn't too far away from it. "Spike, please... I need..."

"I know, luv. Let me take care of you," he told her as he maneuvered his hand between them to manipulate her clit with his fingers. He could feel her vaginal walls quiver around him, tightening with every move he made. "That's it, Buffy. Come for me. Let yourself go..."

And she did. She let the sweet rapture overcome her, sending shock waves of pleasure throughout her body, resonating from her core and making her toes curl.

Oh yeah, she was totally ruined for any other guy. She had never experienced such an intense orgasm from anyone, not even Angel.

She felt Spike pump into her two more times before he went over the edge himself, emptying his seed inside of her welcoming pussy before he collapsed on top of her. He rolled them on their sides and cradled her to his chest as they both fought for breath, still recovering from the post-coital high. "Spike," Buffy breathed. "I can't tell you I love you right now, but..."

"Shhh, pet," he told her then kissed her softly. "No need. I have you, and that's all I need."

"I know. But I want you to know that... Someday I will love you, and you won't be 'a monument to discarded love'."

Spike perked up a bit, looking at her with amazement in his eyes. "How did you..."

"I read your poem. Very beautiful, by the way. I love it."

"Oh, Buffy," he whispered and kissed her again. Through his entire mortal years, he had been ridiculed for his less-than-good poetry, but hearing that Buffy liked it was just... incredible. "I love you, so bloody much."

"I know," Buffy said and rested her head against his chest. "I know."

**The End**


End file.
